Tebow is also passionate about faith-based content for children and has invested in different media projects. (Tim Tebow Foundation)
For Tim Tebow, “MVP” has a whole different meaning. Far from the limelight of the sports field, the 36-year-old Heisman Trophy winner and former NFL quarterback has long set his sights on helping the world’s “Most Vulnerable People.” The Tim Tebow Foundation, founded in 2010, works in 86 countries to transform the lives of orphans, people with special needs or significant medical needs, and those caught in the snare of human traffickers.
His favorite night of the year, Night to Shine, celebrates people with special needs, offering them a prom night experience, and takes place simultaneously around the world—in over 1,000 cities and 56 countries. (Next year, it will be held on February 9, 2024.)
The timing, the Friday before Valentine’s Day, is no accident.
“We wanted this to be a night where every person with special needs ‘Shines,’ and we wanted our love and God’s love for them to shine through,” Tebow said.
American Essence had the chance to ask Tebow about Night to Shine, what drives him in life, and the best advice he’s ever been given.
Tebow is also passionate about faith-based content for children and has invested in different media projects. (Hannah Janoe)
American Essence: Please tell us about an inspiring moment or person at Night to Shine that will stay with you forever.
Tim Tebow: I could tell you thousands and thousands of stories just from our first Night to Shine! One that really stands out to me is a mom coming up to me and telling me that her daughter will never get married. She will never have kids. But tonight, at Night to Shine, she felt like she was a princess. Another is the first time we ever hosted a Night to Shine, one sweet girl came down the red carpet in a wheelchair with everyone cheering her on. She had so much fun and loved the experience so much that she came back down again, this time walking with assistance! It was such an inspiring moment.
Another impactful moment was when I got to meet an incredible young boy at a Night to Shine in Haiti. Frantzky had the biggest, sweetest smile, and he danced with so many friends and family that night. Unfortunately, not long after that, he got very sick. Hospitals in Haiti had turned him away before due to him having special needs or simply perceiving him as too complicated to care for. At the third hospital he ended up at, he did not receive the level of care he needed and unfortunately passed away. It was such a shocking reality that it’s our job to love people no matter their circumstances, and that it’s up to us to help other people see the God-given worth and value of every life. I have a painting of Frantzky in a room in my house where I watch movies and football games. That room is somewhat of a break where I can relax for a moment or get caught up in sports, but Frantzky’s picture is displayed as you exit the room as an instant reminder to keep the perspective that there is so much more significance in life than just games and movies.
AE: How has the idea of prom—a quintessentially American tradition—translated to the many different countries where Night to Shine is held?
Mr. Tebow: That’s a great question. One of the ways we’ve described Night to Shine is as a worldwide prom for people with special needs. A lot of countries aren’t familiar with the term “prom,” so we also call it a worldwide celebration for people with special needs. Even though other countries might not be familiar with the idea of a prom, walking down a red carpet, or being crowned as kings and queens, what’s really cool is that once they see it in action, they totally get it—regardless of where they are. A lot of that has to do with our awesome Night to Shine team that walks alongside churches every step of the way. It’s also really neat to see different countries and cultures embrace Night to Shine by bringing in traditions and experiences that are culturally relevant to them, too.
(Tim Tebow Foundation)
AE: You have a great sense of urgency about the causes that your foundation supports. What drives you in life? What gets you up in the morning, ready to take on the world?
Dennis Quaid is drawn to projects that strike fear on first encounter.
“You take that fear and you channel it, and you use it. Then what it is is energy,” said Quaid, actor and, some may be surprised to know, singer-songwriter. Fear is what ignited some of his most inspired moments while writing his latest album, “Fallen: A Gospel Record for Sinners,” and what drove him to say yes to playing Ronald Reagan in the upcoming biopic “Reagan,” which spans the life of the late president and is told from the perspective of a KGB agent.
“Fear is really inspirational,” Quaid said with a laugh.
Seeking God
“Fallen,” the album, was 30 years in the making, he explained, built around a song he had earlier written for his mother, “On My Way to Heaven.”
“I was coming out of addiction at that time, and I wrote the song to let my mother know that I was okay,” said Quaid, who has been open about his struggle with cocaine in the ’80s. The song was released with the addition of a bridge he penned within minutes, on the soundtrack of the 2018 faith-based film “I Can Only Imagine.”
Quaid is releasing his second music album after four decades of touring the country with his music. (Samira Bouaou for American Essence)
“So it took me 30 years and 15 minutes to write the song,” Quaid said. After her passing four years ago, he felt compelled to write a song about her vision of heaven. She was religious, and a bit literal about it, he said; he himself has always been more of a spiritual person.
“My dad passed back in ’87, and my mom passed four years ago, and it led to a lot of thinking about what’s after this, and what is all this for?” Quaid said. “It’s about a personal relationship with God.” Quaid grew up on the hymns of the Baptist Church and loved the music even though he had grown “disillusioned with church-ianity,” he said. In his teens, he read the Herman Hesse novel “Siddhartha” about the life of the Gautama Buddha, and he started on a journey of reading books and sacred texts from different faiths.
“They’re really all about the same thing,” he said. “It’s man seeking God and knowing God.”
“With hard work, you can do anything,” said fashion designer R’Bonney Gabriel. Today, as Miss Universe 2022, she wants to inspire young women everywhere with her message. Just last year, the Houston resident clinched wins at the Miss Texas USA pageant, followed three months later at the Miss USA competition, and then three months later, on January 14, 2023, the crown of all crowns, Miss Universe.
Gabriel’s story is a multi-generational American dream. Her father immigrated to America with a college scholarship, $20, and the American dream in his heart. Throughout her childhood, he told her, “You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room to make the best grades, you just have to be the hardest worker.” That taught her that even if someone wasn’t born with a natural gift or talent, he or she could still train and work hard to perfect a skill, and achieve any goal he or she set.
Her mother, who came from humble beginnings in Beaumont, Texas, taught her patience, faith, and unconditional love. She “grew up with warm Southern hospitality, [and] I carry that same energy with me no matter where I travel in the world.”
“The hard work ethic and ‘can-do attitude’ combined with my mother’s kindness and heart to serve others are key characteristics that have been instilled in me from a very young age, and are now more important than ever for my role as Miss Universe,” she said.
Gabriel was crowned Miss Universe at the pageant held in New Orleans, La., on Jan. 14, 2023. (Miss Universe Organization)
Gabriel recalls an anecdote from her childhood when she wanted an outdoor playground set that cost a lot of money.
“We received a catalog in the mail with these extravagant-looking playgrounds, … and my dad said that we could build it ourselves. He taught me how to dig a hole and mix cement to build a base, how to hammer nails, drill holes, use a level, etc. It was four stories high … with a tire swing, ladders, and even a bridge. That project really showed me how to take a vision and build it into a reality. That shaped me to have a ‘do-it-yourself’ mentality in life.”
The Pageant Bug
She began entering pageants at age 25, after being encouraged by a woman she kept running into at photo shoots. When she first started, the goal was to challenge herself and become better at communicating and speaking because she was very shy.
“I placed first runner-up at my first pageant,” she said, “and got the ‘pageant bug.’ She soon discovered that competing in pageants requires a lot of work. She trained daily for two and a half years to get to Miss Universe, taking hair lessons, make-up lessons, walking lessons, and weekly interview lessons.
“I did mock interviews, watched the news constantly, trained my mind to formulate my thoughts and opinions in a particular way, worked out intensely, dieted, found sponsors, and spent lots of time designing and sewing my outfits for the competition,” she said. “Pageantry took over my life to the point where I didn’t have time for much else, but it was worth it in the end.”
Gabriel has a passion for sewing. During the Miss Universe competition, she made several outfits herself from recycled material. (R’Bonney Gabriel)
Another incentive to enter a pageant was her strong belief that you should always give things in life a try at least once. In fact, she was in a juggling club in college owing to a love of the circus arts, worked at a haunted house where she would pop out and scare people, and put her dorm room mattress under her cutting/sewing table to sleep on because she had a small room and most of it was taken over by sewing supplies and tools, which would ultimately lead to her fashion brand: R’Bonney Nola.
Gabriel is the first Filipina American to win Miss Texas, Miss USA, and Miss Universe. “[It] is a huge honor, and I hope this inspires others to embrace their unique culture. I hope this opens the door for more representation in pageantry,” she said.
Gabriel also believes in giving back; when she heard about Magpies & Peacocks, an organization dedicated to collecting, curating, and reusing post-consumer textiles to reduce waste in the fashion industry, she knew she wanted to get involved.
“I was already so passionate about recycled/sustainable fashion,” she said. “When I walked in for my first tour, Ahshia Berry, the co-owner, offered me a job to be the lead sewing instructor for the MAKR program, which offers sewing classes to women of Houston who have survived domestic violence and human trafficking. I was so happy to get started with them!”
At Home in Houston
Growing up in Houston gave her an open-minded outlook on life. “Houston is home to every culture and ethnicity,” she said. “My high school experience was a great time in my life. We had every cultural background at school, and I was friends with everyone.
R’Bonney Gabriel hails from Houston, Texas, and is the first Filipina American to win Miss Texas, Miss USA, and Miss Universe. (Fadil Berisha)
Gabriel was also friends with different crowds based on the different activities she enjoyed growing up. “I played volleyball, played oboe in band, and attended yearbook class. This upbringing shaped me to accept anyone for who they are and showed me the beauty of so many different people.”
One of the most challenging parts of her reign so far is the cyberbullying and harsh online comments that get her down sometimes.
“I try my best to ignore it. I’ve realized that no matter what I do, I just can’t please everyone, so I just remind myself that my self-worth does not come from other peoples’ opinions about me,” she said.
When her year is done, she will continue building her sustainable fashion brand, R’Bonney Nola, as well as modeling and working to educate and inspire young girls and women through her sewing workshops and motivational speaking. With her “can-do attitude” and excellent work ethic, R’Bonney Gabriel has the world (and the universe) at her fingertips—one upcycled dress at a time.
Sonya Curry, educator and proud mother of three successful children, Steph, Seth, and Sydel Curry. (Nathan Mays)
Sonya Curry likens her family to The Big Machine. Every member of the family plays a part in helping the household run at maximum efficiency, with chores and activities on schedule for each. So when her eldest son Stephen Curry—who would go on to become the basketball star Steph Curry—failed to do the dishes one week during his high school sophomore year, there was no question that he would not be allowed to go to basketball practice—despite it being before an important game. Curry told her son’s basketball coach that he would be missing practice, which, according to the coach’s rules, meant he would not be starting the next game.
“I reminded Stephen so many times to do the dishes that I realized he was starting to rely on me to manage him. That’s not going to work. I have to train my kids to manage themselves. That’s what this is about. Yes, everyone has to do their part to keep the Big Machine running. At the same time, they have to learn to be their own managers,” Curry wrote in her recent book, “Fierce Love: A Memoir of Family, Faith, and Purpose.”
Sonya Curry and her son Steph Curry pose for a photo on the red carpet during a 2019 event in Oakland, Calif. (Kelly Sullivan/Stringer/Getty Images Entertainment)
Parenting for Curry meant having her children learn by making mistakes and learning that actions have consequences. Being the head of a private school in Charlotte, North Carolina, where she raised her three children, Steph, Seth, and Sydel, Curry knew that children must figure out the process themselves while parents guide them to the conclusion. Her approach is similar to the schooling philosophy she embraced as an educator: the Montessori method. Named after Italian educator Dr. Maria Montessori, the philosophy embraces a system of learning that measures success based on the creative potentiality of a child. According to Montessori, it would “activate the child’s own natural desire to learn.”
Curry first enrolled her two sons at a Montessori school when they were 3 and 5 years old. She was immediately impressed with how her sons, with different personalities, thrived in the same classroom while developing separate groups of friends. One day, the owner of the school approached Curry and asked her if she would be interested in running the school’s new satellite program for toddlers and kindergarten. Curry, with a degree in family studies and child development, agreed. She set up the new school on a piece of farmland.
This, she recalled, was the defining moment that led to her career in education.
After more than two decades at the school, she retired in 2017 and devoted her time to writing her book. Curry feels compelled to reach out to parents with sage advice: how to parent with ultimate success according to each individual child and his or her gifts. The bigger picture for Curry now is encouraging other parents in their roles of nurturing their children. “Hopefully the book keeps people talking about what they are doing as parents, to find support, and to offer support to others as a community.”
Curry with her children and grandchildren. (Courtesy of Sonya Curry)
Education Journey
Her journey into the realm of teaching began at an early age. She had a natural gift for teaching. At the ripe age of 10, she taught lessons to several neighborhood children in the trailer park in which she lived. Whether it was math, spelling, or reading, she commanded the class and the children respected her—like a real teacher. One particular experience led Curry to witness how education could transform someone. A neighborhood teen named Philip had developmental disabilities and did not know how to read. Curry took the initiative to teach him. Seeing someone struggle, she was drawn to be that teacher or coach who encouraged success. In retrospect, Curry says this was the only career she dreamed about and opportunities just presented themselves throughout the course of her life.
When she got the opportunity to open her own Montessori school, she didn’t need the Montessori certification to be an administrator. “But it is really hard to lead teachers and parents authentically unless you have had the training,” she added. She enrolled in an intensive training program for nine straight weeks in Baltimore, Maryland. Though it was difficult leaving her children behind, this was her opportunity to learn the Montessori method. “In Montessori, teachers are guides who allow the unfolding of the child that God created. Create an environment where the child will learn and then take ownership of that learning. Here we don’t tell them what the answer is; instead, we encourage them to find the answers.”
Raising a Family
Curry places a heavy emphasis on faith and spirituality, such as by giving God the first part of the day through praying devotions. The family attends church on Sundays and participates in the church community.
Training successfully for spiritual growth also means talking openly about hardships. Instead of sweeping problems under the rug, parents should have important conversations with children about the kind of impact any decision will have on others, she said. “Learn to give yourself some grace, and give grace to other people—and then try to correct or make things right,” she said.
(Courtesy of HarperCollins Publishers)
The Curry household frequently held family meetings to discuss schedules or hash out those tricky topics. Sometimes, the weekly meetings were replaced with a fun family outing. Family bonding is key for enduring difficult moments. She is grateful for them. “Fundamental life experiences are more about looking deeper under the surface so that you can glimpse down the road to the bigger picture.”
She recounts one such tough conversation when her daughter Sydel, at 14, wanted to attend a party where her crush was expected to show up. But the family rule was no dating until the age of 16. In an emotional outburst, Sydel told her she was the worst mother in the world. Curry then gave Sydel a choice. Could Sydel continue to live with her mother who respects her and protects her—or does she want to move out? It was a defining moment of parenting with fierce love. “Sydel needed to learn the valuable lesson of understanding her worth. She had to learn to protect her value because the world and other people aren’t going to,” Curry said.
Ultimately, Sydel apologized. Curry let her know that words are powerful and can hurt. It was a reconciling moment for the mother-daughter duo.
Curry says it’s inevitable for parents to make mistakes, but the key is to share openly with children about any challenges. (Nathan Mays)
Her children also taught her the importance of writing your own story—instead of listening to others tell you what your story should be. This teachable moment came with her middle son, Seth. At practice and in school, he would just go with the flow, wondering why he should put in extra effort. But Curry insisted that children should be challenged to do better, to do their very best. Despite her pleadings and many discussions with Seth, he would not take this to heart, until it came time for him to realize it on his own. Through high school and college, Seth learned to overcome the challenge of being in his brother’s shadow, and he came into his own through hard work. At Duke University, his basketball career thrived, and eventually, he made his way into the NBA. With Sydel too, Curry decided not to be pushy when she wanted to pursue volleyball and drop basketball—the known family sport—from her high school schedule. As Curry wrote in the book, “Make yourself the hero.”
Curry admits to not being a perfect parent. But she contends that that is part of the process. “My advice to parents is to give it 100 percent with intentionality every day. Nobody is going to do it perfectly,” she said.
It has been said that the world always looks brighter from behind a smile.
And that adage has been shaping Alina Morse’s thriving business decisions since she invented Zolli Candy at the age of 9 years old. Now, at 17, Morse not only creates new products for her extensive line of alternative candies, available through various retailers throughout the country, but gives back through the Million Smiles Initiative, the nonprofit arm of Morse’s candy empire.
“From the start, it was important to find a cause,” said Morse. “In running a business, there are rough days, so finding that aspect that drives you and makes you feel good about why you put in all the hours for the business is important.”
Healthy Smiles
Tooth decay is the biggest epidemic facing kids in America, according to the United States Surgeon General. This gave Morse a shock. “It is a preventable disease. … Why wouldn’t there be other initiatives to combat this problem?” she said. “This fact drove me to create not only a delicious healthy candy alternative, but to find a way to give back and educate people.” What makes Zolli Candy a healthy alternative? According to the company website, a proprietary blend of naturally-sourced sugar replacements—such as isomalt, which is derived from sugar beets—makes it 100 percent sugar-free. The company’s non-GMO blend is not only tooth-friendly but also food-allergy-friendly and vegan.
Morse spent hours upon hours working through sugar-free recipes to come up with just the right concoction. Although a messy process, Morse eventually worked out the recipe that millions have since been introduced to through the Million Smiles Initiative. By giving away free candy all across America, it was an opportunity to talk about the root problems of oral hygiene. Over 250,000 lollipops have been donated since the company’s inception.
Zolli Candy’s retail sales in 2021 totaled over $10 million. (Adhiraj Chakrabarti for American Essence)
She believes that while her products are great, an education can fuel generations of change. A determined Morse now translates this passion and leads others her age—in schools—to rally around the importance of oral health care. Her business has led to important discussions on the topic, garnering extensive speaking engagements including a TED Talk, “Why I Eat Candy To Avoid Cavities”; appearing on various shows and venues like South by Southwest; and making the cover of Entrepreneur magazine.
“I do virtual public speaking with organizations to inspire kids and give them resources to start their own company. I’m a huge advocate for kids but specifically young girls and women. So few women are in the candy business. It’s been tough to pave that road and find the mentors so I try to act as an advocate,” she said. She has shared sage advice with experienced entrepreneurs and those new to their craft. Seasoned entrepreneurs who have been around the block should take the time to listen to those with more youthful perspectives. “The thing that makes young entrepreneurs a commodity is that they are curious and tenacious. Find opportunities to connect so as to never lose that childlike curiosity.”
A Young CEO
Young inventors, Morse claims, will experience success if the company is built on the merits of a fantastic team.
“The CEO title does not mean you can do every job. And you’re never going to grow and reach success unless you find people to delegate to—people you can trust. Always look for people who you can learn from, trust, delegate—and, in turn, you can form a great team of people with a mutual understanding of goals.”
As Morse understands from her own million-dollar venture, start-up businesses require considerable work and time. However, finding dedicated people who believe in the company’s mission is the first key ingredient to success. As she reiterates, “Business is a team sport!”
Today, ZolliCandy encompasses many trademarked candies including Zollipops®, Zolli® Drops, and Zaffi® Taffy. But what started it all was a delicious formula—a vegan, all-natural, sugar-free lollipop. She learned important lessons by purchasing ingredients, melting and cooling the non-sugary confection, and making a huge mess.
Alina Morse wanted to create sugar-free candy that children could eat without worrying about cavities. (Adhiraj Chakrabarti for American Essence)
“Initially, I tried to make it at home in our kitchen. I learned not to melt sugar substitutes like Stevia and other funky stuff that couldn’t make the cut to our finalized Zolli products,” she recalled. Trial after trial led to a tweaked basic formula that led to the best possible product. In the beginning, it was tricky because no one had ever done this before. With such an expansive line, Morse was always inventing, creating something new that adhered to her standards. Any product she made had to be allergy-, keto-, and diabetic-friendly.
People don’t have to worry about it being harmful. According to the teen inventor, the company’s unique selling points are that it must be able to help clean your teeth or it meets the standards for those who suffer from allergies or eat from restrictive diets. “It is important to have variety. Not everyone will be in a lollipop mood,” she added.
Keep Smiling
Looking back upon her success, this regular high school student appears well adjusted despite her fame as one of America’s youngest CEOs. In fact, Morse admitted that although she is tenacious, she is a normal, healthy teen just like her peers at school. An extremely supportive set of friends over the years, as well as a strong family support system, has bolstered her aspirations.
“I am lucky to have supportive parents who believe in me and trust in me. They were willing to invest in me to make this idea a reality. And, I’ve been fortunate with supportive friends who encourage and treat me like nothing is different.”
What Morse finds most rewarding in her day-to-day management duties is the messages from those who have tasted her treats and are, in turn, grateful. Some have told her that her candy line has saved their lives or that they couldn’t enjoy candy until now—and these messages make it a very impactful experience for the teen.
So impactful, in fact, that Morse has been known to use an effective catch phrase, “Keep smiling!” to inspire others through her videos, social media, emails, and appearances. She tries to work positivity and goodness into conversations even if it makes just a little difference. She says it is a good reminder to stay positive and enjoy life.
“So just keep smiling!”
After all, smiling has amazing powers. And her cause with Zolli Candy is not only delicious, but positively contagious for consumers and her business.
This article was originally published in American Essence magazine.
I went from homeless to millionaire, but it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t overnight. Here’s my story.
I was homeless when I was 8 years old as a result of an uninsured fire in the little shack where I lived with my mentally ill grandfather and alcoholic and addicted grandmother. My parents were both long gone.
That time of being homeless made a powerful impression on me. When I think about it now, decades later, I can still feel the emotions of being scared, dirty, and hungry. I went to school every day for months, through fall and into winter, wearing the same filthy little dress and dime store flip-flops that I was wearing on the day of the fire. We slept in the back of our old pickup truck usually at a nearby lake. We fished and we dug around in trash cans for something to eat. When someone gave us a box of used clothes, some of which almost fit me, I was so excited. For me, it was like someone had handed me a million dollars. I didn’t know it then, but I can see clearly now that there was dignity in that box.
When I was 15 years old, I read that I could become an emancipated minor. Wow! No more living in filth (or staying with people who didn’t want us there), being screamed at, or being hit for any reason or no reason at all. I got a ride down to the courthouse, and I asked anyone who would speak to me how to get emancipated. I didn’t know that you were supposed to go with a lawyer or a social worker. My social worker had closed my case years prior, labeling me “unadoptable” because, she said, “no one wants to adopt school-aged children.”
After hours of hanging around the courthouse pestering people, a bailiff had mercy on me and escorted me back to a judge’s chambers. I stood outside the door while the man in the uniform went in and spoke to the judge. When he came out to get me, he said, “You’ve got 5 minutes.”
I told the judge that my parents had been gone for years, and that I wanted to be emancipated. “I can do it, your honor. I know how to take care of myself.” To my surprise, the judge didn’t summarily dismiss me and have the bailiff escort me out. Instead, he said, “OK, if you want to be emancipated, here’s what you’ll need. You might want to write this down. You’ll need to bring me a paycheck stub showing that you have a steady job, a lease for an apartment and a utility bill in your name showing me that you have a place to live, the registration for a vehicle to prove that you have a way to get to school and work, and passbooks for both checking and savings accounts.” I think he thought he’d never see me again.
I left there so excited! I went back to the ROP (Regional Occupational Program) office at the high school where I attended and asked them to help me find a job. They sent me on two job interviews—one at a bank and one in a little insurance office. I didn’t get the bank job, but the insurance agent hired me on the spot. Of course he did, because every time he asked me if I knew how to do something, I told him I was an expert at that! Most of what he asked about was a complete mystery to me, but I figured that I would learn and work hard and have a good attitude, and that all those things would make up for what I didn’t know how to do.
When that insurance agent taught me about homeowners insurance, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was stunned to hear that this thing called “insurance” existed, which would have rebuilt our little shack, replaced our clothes and furniture, and put us up in a house while they were rebuilding our place after it had been destroyed by fire. It was like this man had lit an unquenchable fire in me. I became passionate about selling homeowner insurance because I never wanted anyone to go through what we had gone through. The only problem was that I was 16 years old and unlicensed.
I filed my application for an insurance license and was turned down. The rules were that applicants had to be at least 18 years old before they could take the test. I was completely dejected. I had taken everything the judge required for emancipation down to the courthouse, and had been declared an emancipated minor. I felt like I could do anything! But the Department of Insurance burst my bubble. My boss, the man who had lit the fire in me, prompted me to appeal. After all, as an emancipated minor, I could be tried as an adult if I committed a crime! So I appealed. I was declined. I appealed again. I was declined again. On the sixth appeal, my boss suggested I write a letter to the then sitting Insurance Commissioner saying that I was going to be at his office every morning when he arrived until he allowed me to take the test. I was approved.
(Jennifer Schneider for American Essence)
Successful Survivors
I passed that test, and I spent the next 40 years in insurance. Most of that time I was in my own business, Child Welfare Insurance Services, an organization that was founded solely to protect and defend the good people and organizations that care for children who have been abused. In that business, we educated the insurance industry on how to properly rate premiums for child welfare organizations that had previously been charged premiums as though they were hospitals or insane asylums. As a result, we put millions of dollars back into the budgets of the organizations we served. That was money that was spent on children rather than insurance.
I sold my company and decided to spend the rest of my life helping other people succeed because of what they’ve been through. That was exactly what I had experienced.
I realized that the most painful experiences of my life became the stepping stones to personal and professional success. The abandonment I experienced when my parents left taught me self-reliance. The poverty I experienced taught me how to manage money and how to appreciate even the simplest things like warm running water, clean sheets, and food in the pantry. Child abuse gave me an empathy for victims of abuse that can be acquired only through lived experience. Being homeless as a result of an uninsured fire gave me a passion for the very thing that would be the vehicle through which I could help hundreds of nonprofit organizations, and indirectly, thousands of wounded children.
I founded an educational nonprofit, Successful Survivors Foundation, for the purpose of helping others create their own successful lives. We launched the Love Is Action Community Initiative to encourage people in neighborhoods to come together to help to eradicate social isolation and the societal ills that emanate from it, including child abuse, domestic violence, human trafficking, substance abuse, suicide, and all the others.
In this second half of my life, I’m trying to help as many people as possible. Because I can only be one place at a time, I began to write. And I launched a podcast called Empowering Resilience. I’ve written 14 books, the most recent of which, “30 Days to Love,” is scheduled for release in November 2021. I’m working on turning my Your Real Success curriculum into a series of micro-learning courses, in the wild aspiration of helping millions of people to find and fulfill the purpose for which they were born and perfectly matched.
And the most recent fun I’m having is doing the interviews for the American Success segment of American Essence Magazine. There are so many truly remarkable people throughout our great country who live quiet and peaceful lives of service to others. In their own unique way, each one is making the world a better place. It’s such a privilege to be able to tell their stories. I hope you’ll check in with me monthly for the next story. And who knows, maybe one of these days, the story will be about you.
(Jennifer Schneider for American Essence)
What challenges or hardships have you faced and overcome?
“I’ve overcome abandonment, abuse, poverty, and many other adversities. The most important aspect of facing challenges and hardships is discovering the truth that despite how difficult or painful it may be in the moment, suffering is optional. We can choose to be positive, be good to others as best we can, and expect good things to happen. This is my formula, if you will, for turning our adversities into our advantages. Adversities give us priceless opportunities to develop character traits, such as empathy, and learned abilities that we cannot acquire any other way.”
Tell us about the life that you live now.
“I am happily married to my husband of 30 years, Nick Sciortino. When I married him, I got a great, big Italian family as part of the package. Their acceptance of me helped to love me into wholeness when I was still rough around the edges. I used to be skeptical of people, almost expecting them to hurt me. But I understand now that when people don’t behave well, it’s because all is not well for them. Now, instead of being skeptical and defensive, I try to approach people with kindness, mercy, and love.
I have a wonderful daughter and son-in-love and amazing grandchildren. I can honestly say that I now have what I call Real Success, which is a balance of five separate facets, including good relationships, good health, peace, joy, and financial provision. That’s what I want for everyone.”
(Jennifer Schneider for American Essence)
What are three things that you do for others?
“Through my writing, speaking, podcast, and media, I do my best to share the wisdom that I’ve acquired along the way. I’ve tried to learn from everyone I know. (Sometimes I’ve learned how NOT to behave—still, it’s all valuable.) So I pass along tips so that others can build on what I know and go farther than I ever will. On a personal level, I share my faith and values. In my journey from homeless to millionaire, I’ve learned what works to move us toward fulfillment of our purpose and the real success that accompanies it. I’ve also learned what doesn’t work. Those things that do not work distract us from the good life we were born and fully equipped to live. I share what I know to help others save the precious time of their lives that can never be retrieved.”
Some favorite quotes:
“You can have anything in life that you want, if you’ll help enough other people get what they want.” —Zig Ziglar
“Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.” —Teddy Roosevelt
“The harder you work, the luckier you get.” —Samuel Goldwyn
A book that inspired you:
“The Body Keeps The Score” by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk
“Man’s Search For Meaning” by Viktor Frankl
“Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis
Best advice:
“Forgive those who have hurt you. Be kind to everyone. Show love to others every opportunity you have. When you do those things, your life will be filled with kindness, love, and mercy. It doesn’t get any better than that!”
Rhonda Sciortino is the author of “Acts of Kindness,” “The Kindness Quotient,” and “Love Is Action,” among many other books. She hopes to nudge people toward Love.
John Perkins’s hands move with a passion that still fuels him at 91, as he tells his story of suffering and redemption.Like most black families in Mississippi in the 1930s, life was an all-consuming effort to survive. No one can remember Perkins’ exact birthday, but the significance of one early memory has become very clear.
(Courtesy of John Perkins)
John was living with his grandmother, a woman who had birthed 19 children of her own before taking in John and his five siblings. Pellagra, a vitamin B3 deficiency, had taken his mother’s life when she was still nursing 7-month-old John.Already-full beds grew fuller. John’s grandmother was supplementing their sharecropping income with bootlegging.
Mississippi had banned alcohol statewide in 1908, a decade before the 18th Amendment to the Constitution prohibited it throughout the nation. Then, Mississippi became the last state to repeal its state prohibition in 1966, three decade after the 21st Amendment had repealed Prohibition nationally.
One day, the sheriff came into the house and claimed he found alcohol. John’s grandmother knew the sheriff had planted it there. When he told her he was going to haul her to jail, her response traveled deep into John’s soul. She said, “If I was a man, I would kick your a__ for thinking that I would go with you and leave these little ones.”Her defense fueled a sense of dignity in John: his grandmother loved him; she had stood up for him against the white sheriff. He knew then that he was worth as much as any other child.
This incident helped counter the reflection of himself that John saw in the eyes of many others: like when he was 12 and had worked hard all day for a white farmer. Instead of the dollar or two he expected to receive at the end of the day, the man dropped just 15 cents into his hand. John knew what would happen, to both himself and his family, if he did what he wanted to do at the time: throw the money on the floor in front of the man. “We would get the reputation of being ‘Uppity Niggers,’ or worse, ‘Smart Niggers,’” Perkins said. But the incident had made him think and ask questions, and he had made a decision. This man, John realized, had the capital, and could make evil decisions about what to do with it; one day, John decided that he, too, would be in a position to make decisions about his own capital.
Perkins left Mississippi in 1947, after his older brother, Clyde—home from serving in World War II—was shot by the police. He died in John’s arms. Perkins found work in a California foundry where, while still a teenager, he helped to form a union. It gave him a taste of the success that united action could bring.
After he was drafted into the Korean War and served two years, John and his bride, Vera Mae, a hometown girl who was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, settled in Monrovia, California. They’d already had five of their eight kids, and were enjoying a lifestyle better than either of them had known growing up.
(Courtesy of John Perkins)
Perkins’ life would change drastically, however, when his oldest son, Spencer, was invited to a local Good News Club. Spencer, still in preschool, then invited his dad to church. John went and started reading the Bible for the first time. One Sunday, he heard Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” He said that verse spoke to his whole life experience. He knew about wages: it was a dime and a buffalo nickel from a white man. And sin—that was oppression. But what about his own sin?
(Courtesy of John Perkins)
That morning was the culmination of much searching. John said yes to Jesus, had inner peace for the first time, and didn’t look back.“I moved into my new life like I did everything else: as hard as I could,” Perkins said.Soon he felt God calling him back to Mississippi, where he started teaching Bible classes in schools. He and Vera Mae started Mendenhall Ministries, to help break the cycle of poverty and facilitate reconciliation.
The Paradox of Suffering
In 1964, civil rights issues were heating up in Mississippi. Everyone, black and white, had to take a stand, Perkins said. He led a voter registration drive, and a few years later, organized a boycott.
In 1970, after several Tougaloo College students had been imprisoned for protesting, Perkins went to the jail in Brandon, Mississippi, to bail them out. When he arrived, Mississippi patrolmen had other plans for him.They tortured and beat him and made him mop up his own blood. It’s not something John can talk about easily. During almost two years of unjust court proceedings, he suffered from heart problems, and had much of his stomach removed because of ulcers.
(Courtesy of John Perkins)(Courtesy of John Perkins)
This led to a faith crisis, which was eventually overcome by individual acts of kindness and love, coming from both God and man: like the white doctor who sat by his bed reading and caring for him and wouldn’t leave until John was asleep.Years later, the arms of a white chaplain would hold him together after hearing the news that Spencer, not yet 50, hadn’t survived a heart attack.“We wash one another’s wounds,” John says quietly.
Perkins has since written 17 books, but not alone. “I’ve been so blessed in my life to have so many people who have given me the help I need. This whole lifetime of ministry has been with friends God has put into my life. It’s a teamwork.” He calls his last three books, his manifesto: the truths he has learned in his 90-plus years, and what he hopes will live on after him.
His first book, “One Blood: Parting Words to the Church on Race and Love,” was published when he was 88. “We are one blood; science has already proven that.” And when we are born again into the family of God, he added, we are also brothers and sisters in the faith.
Book two came after Perkins was asked by a college student how he could make a difference in the world. “Become friends with God, and be friends with each other,” John answered, and then unpacked this response in “He Calls Me Friend: The Healing Power of Friendship in a Lonely World.”
In September 2021, Perkins’ last book was released: “Count it All Joy: The Ridiculous Paradox of Suffering.” This book describes his journey through months of mysterious pain, morphine, and two hospital stays, until the source of the problem was finally found. Behind layers of scar tissue that had grown where doctors had operated following his attack in the Brandon jail, cancer was growing.
(Courtesy of John Perkins)
Perkins had already beaten cancer twice before he reached 90. The incredible pain of this third journey, however, was different, he wrote. He’d had words for the other pain.But with this one, came the unexpected, and John asked the Lord to give him a little more time. There were things he hadn’t been able to say before: like the value of lamentation. “Lament is an old word that has been given a fresh new meaning in this generation,” Perkins said.“We need to let people know that God allows us to lament. We don’t have to act like we’re strong when we’re falling apart. Life is hard. And it becomes harder when we don’t have safe places to share our grief and our struggles without being made to feel like we’re not strong enough.”
And the paradox in this last book: Perkins makes the case that suffering is good, and it is sometimes God’s way of getting our attention and preparing us for His purposes. He speaks with authority after a journey that has borne the pain of breaking down barriers. His conclusion is a surprising closing hymn: True joy is formed in the crucible of suffering. It isn’t experienced alone. “When I cry out to Him, He meets me right there in the place of my pain. And He feels what I feel. He hurts when I hurt. I believe that,” Perkins declared.
John and Vera Mae, with the support of friends, have started many ministries that focus on Christian community development, multiethnic church planting, health care, education, legal assistance, low-income housing development, and more.It’s clear that John hasn’t let his third-grade education hold him back.
In 1969, his testimony before the McGovern Select Committee on Nutrition and Human Needs led to The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children (WIC), a government program that helps feed millions of low-income women, infants and children each month. He has served in an advisory role under several U.S. presidents. He is an international speaker on reconciliation, leadership, and community development.Sixteen colleges have recognized his life and work with honorary doctorate degrees. Three colleges have established John Perkins Centers.
(Courtesy of John Perkins)
John, now Dr. Perkins, still has hope for the future.“The Declaration of Independence and the United States Constitution are the greatest statements on human dignity,” he often says. While America hasn’t always lived up to it, for the first time, Perkins now sees “a generation that values differences. One of the greatest statements in the world” he says, “is ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.’”
Although he’s quick to clarify that he’s still alive, and “still listening,” Perkins has imagined what it’s going to be like when he meets his mother on the other side. He will borrow the words of Thurgood Marshall.“I’m going to say, ‘Momma, I tried. I did what I could with what I had.’”Her response will likely be the second “Well done” that John hears.
(Courtesy of John Perkins)
For more information about John Perkins, and his free video class on living with purpose and passion, visit JohnMPerkins.com
Cadet Tom Fryer shakes hands with President John F. Kennedy at the U.S. Air Force Academy graduation in 1963. (Courtesy of Wes Fryer)
This year marks the 60th anniversary of the start of President John F. Kennedy’s administration. When he took office in January 1961, he ushered in a new sentiment for the country. That sentiment was all about youth.
At 43, JFK was the nation’s second-youngest president, and he was good-looking to boot. The First Lady was also young and good-looking, and their two young children were adorable. It was all about youth.
JFK succeeded President Dwight D. Eisenhower. While both had served in the military during World War II, they were from opposite ends of the age spectrum. Eisenhower, known as Ike, was a career soldier, and had reached the rank of five-star general in the U.S. Army by the end of his military career. JFK, while an officer in the Navy, was far younger, and only rose to lieutenant during the war.
“What had happened in 1960 was that the junior ranks of the military in World War II replaced the generals,” said James Piereson, a historian and fellow at the Manhattan Institute. “That was part of the generational change that happened. Kennedy was, of course, quite pro-military,” he said. “JFK gave luster to military service,” he added, having “very much campaigned on his war record” in 1960.
So, what was it like being young and in the service during the Kennedy administration?
Bob Hogan was a gunnery officer and lieutenant junior grade on active duty in the Navy from 1960 to 1963, essentially the entire duration of JFK’s time in office. He was commissioned at age 22. “I was blown away by JFK’s Navy war record, his charisma, style, and wit,” he said. “I was immensely energized by his call to service, and really believed in it. His seeming idealism, his patriotic values—I was completely taken in.”
Tom Fryer had the thrill of a lifetime when JFK handed him his diploma and commission. They shook hands at Fryer’s graduation ceremony from the U.S. Air Force Academy in 1963. “I felt so honored, so humbled,” said Fryer, who was also 22 at the time.
The American president is also commander-in-chief of the nation’s military. In October 1962, JFK had to make some difficult decisions in that role. The United States and the USSR were fighting the Cold War. Nikita Khrushchev was JFK’s counterpart in communist Russia. A U-2 reconnaissance photo of Cuba confirmed that Khrushchev had placed nuclear missiles on the island, just 90 miles off the coast of Florida.
JFK responded by ordering a naval blockade around Cuba, and essentially told Khrushchev that the missiles had to go. If they didn’t, there would be war. A nuclear war.
This period, known as the Cuban Missile Crisis, was essentially a naval operation. But the entire military, worldwide, was ready for deployment, including a possible invasion of Cuba.
Harry Moritz was at Morse Intercept School at Fort Devens, Massachusetts, at the time. “One day, we marched back to our barracks and were held for an announcement. We were asked if anyone spoke Spanish. Several guys raised their hands. They were pulled to one side, told to pack their gear, and they were sent on a ‘special assignment’ TDY (temporary duty station). They disappeared and were never seen again,” he said. “We non-Spanish folks stayed in Morse school, and in the dark, like the rest of the USA, crapping our pants.”
Gary Mahone was a Morse interceptor, stationed in Hakata, Japan. “During that time, we were on red alert and worked 12-hour shifts, 24/7,” he said. “All leaves and terminations were canceled. Very tense times.”
The Air Force Academy that Fryer attended was in Colorado, not far from the North American Aerospace Defense Command (called NORAD), which conducts aerospace warning and control for the United States. “If the Russians would have come after us, that was a prime target,” said Fryer.
However, according to Fryer, Soviet missiles weren’t all that accurate at the time, so if they fell 15 miles short of their target, the academy could easily be hit. “In preparation for that, we held some drills,” he said. The academy was built with underground tunnels that distributed its utilities. Top brass decided the safest place for the cadets was in these tunnels, which no one really knew about.
Hogan was on a destroyer, which was part of the task force that was going to invade Cuba. His ship was the submarine screen and would provide shore bombardment should the invasion happen.
Hogan spotted a Russian submarine tailing them. “I heard his torpedo doors open,” he said. That meant the Soviets were preparing to attack. Hogan had his hand on the trigger, let his captain know he had positive identification, and requested permission to fire.
Had permission been granted, this very action would have kicked off a nuclear war. However, he was “in a system” and “the system has its rules; you follow the rules.” He would have obeyed the order to fire if it had been given.
“I was (expletive) my pants,” Hogan recalled. “There was a long pause, and the captain said, ‘Classify your contact as a whale,’” instead of an enemy submarine. “I was really glad when the captain chickened out.”
With a nuclear war between the two superpowers looming, Khrushchev eventually gave in and agreed to remove the missiles.
Veteran Joe Schmidt of N.Y. (Dave Paone)
Joe Schmidt was a 21-year-old signalman on a destroyer in the blockade. His job was to directly communicate with the Russian merchant ships as they removed the missiles from Cuba. “With a flashing light, we would send a message to them, and we had to ask them, ‘What is your cargo?’” he said. The expected reply was, “Missiles.” Schmidt would relay that message to the captain, who would relay it to the naval air station in Key West, Florida.
It was understood by everyone involved that the Soviet merchant ships were carrying the missiles and nothing else. “Anything coming out of Cuba at that point was only coming out with missiles on it. They weren’t bringing cigars,” said Schmidt with a laugh.
Key West would then dispatch a P2V Neptune anti-submarine aircraft to fly over the Russian ship to photograph its cargo. The only time Schmidt was in contact with a Soviet ship, it was after midnight and completely dark.
“They had these huge searchlights on the wingtips,” he said. “And they lit that ship up—that plane lit it up—it looked like it was 12 o’clock in the afternoon with those lights.” Even though the two sides spoke entirely different languages—ones that don’t even share the same alphabet—there was a code that both understood, which made communication possible.
JFK’s presidency is fondly referred to as “Camelot,” and the consensus among those who served in the military during his administration is that, for different reasons, it was an exciting time. As Hogan put it, “Best and worst experience of my life.”
Dave Paone is a Long Island-based reporter and photographer who has won journalism awards for articles, photographs, and headlines. When he’s not writing and photographing, he’s catering to every demand of his cat, Gigi.
